Some people make me mad. Some people are always fun to be around. Some people are very, very confusing. Some people are awesome. Some people give me a headache. Some people make me feel stupid. Some people are jerks, but I still miss them a lot. Some people need to realize that there are billions of people in the world, and it’s not just about them. Some people make me want to be a better person myself. Some people are inspiring. Some people are extremely talented. Some people are really easy to talk to. Some people make it almost impossible to think straight. Some people are sometimes intentionally or unintentionally rude, but either way, they’re rude. Some people are so nice you don’t know if they’re for real or not. Some people are hilarious. Some people are crazy. Some people are fake. Some people seem flawless and perfect…
What kind of person am I? What do people think of me? Who am I? Do I even know? I honestly hope I’m not how I think of myself. At least a little more highly thought of than that. But really… I am so weird. In every way. I don’t understand how I have friends. I’m a freak! But apparently that’s good..? That’s what they tell me anyway. But I embarrass myself every day, and I can make things so awkward… But I have fun, that’s what counts, right? Ha. I just hope I’m not really hated by as many people as I think. I don’t want to be hated. I just want to be myself and not worry about anything. Yeah, that sounds good.
1. My house is warm.
2. The Secret Journal of Brett Colton is the best book ever.
3. Today was good, and not even for any specific reason!
4. I have Taylor Swift’s new album Red.
5. It’s my cousins birthday today, he’s five. He is such a blessing to me, and I love him so much. He looks like his dad, and I’m glad he does, so I won’t forget.
6. My hair is sooooo soft.
7. Food is so delicious. I’m having soup for dinner, which is the best on cold days like this.
8. My best friends are so strong and amazing. I want to be like them.
9. I think I did alright on my math test retake.
10. I love smiles.
Well, just ten for today. I want to make this a habit… Making this list of good things, I mean. I need to work on having a better attitude about everything. I want to be happy.
High school… is low. These kids here, are stupid. They are so judgmental, and I really wish we could get away from it all. They make me angry. I can’t believe they said that about you, because it isn’t true. Kat, you are pretty. You are beautiful. They don’t know crap about what’s pretty and what’s not. They’re stupid. High school’s stupid. But that’s not the point… Kat, my heart broke for you when I read your post today… I want you to know that I will drop everything if you need me to. I really will. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hold anything in. You are so strong, and you don’t have to be in front of me. I want to help you, Kat. I want to be there for you. I should have been paying more attention… I should have known something was wrong. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about those jerks. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to comfort you. But from now on, I really hope you can tell me these things. You are my best friend, and I don’t want you to hurt. I want to help you. And I want you to be happy. I am here for you.
I love you so much. Thanks for being my friend.
So… I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently.. What is really important?
What is really important? What is the most important thing to you? What should it be..? God should be the most important thing in our lives, and eternal life should be our main goal. That’s what we’re here for, right? I think we all lose sight of that. So many things get in the way, and we forget that goal. Why wouldn’t God be the most important thing to us? He gave us life, He gave us a body, He gave us a chance to be like Him. So why don’t we take that chance? Why don’t we make the most of it? And if we love God and want to be like Him, then why don’t we do what He wants us to do? What is in our hearts?
Never trade what you want most for what you want at the moment. I promise you, it’s not worth it…
What do you want the most?
Think about it.
What is love? Kind of a weird question for me to be asking, but really, what is it? Does love mean holding hands and kissing? Or is it just wanting nothing more than for that one person to be happy? Do you have to be in a serious and committed relationship to love someone? Is it possible to love someone at my age? Or would that be more like infatuation? Can love be temporary, or is it always forever and unconditional? Could love be your very first crush? Or the butterflies you feel every time you see him (or her)? Is it smiling when you read a cute text from that person? Is it him being your first thought when you wake up, and your very last before you fall asleep? Is it love when you can’t stand seeing him with somebody else? Do you always have to trust those you love? Does love hurt, or is it always happy and perfect? Is love more than a feeling; is love an action too? Is love thinking nothing could be better, and wanting nothing more than for that person to be right next to you, forever? Could love simply be a warm smile someone gives you on a bad day? Is love a well-needed hug from a good friend? Is it a thank-you card, or a present? Is love the song that reminds you of him, the one that plays over and over in your head? Is love having no worries? Is love wanting a person so badly, you would do anything for them? Could love be the way he makes you smile? Could love be the ache of missing someone? …If all these things aren’t love, then what is?
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
You really are. Inside and out. And I want you to know that beauty is not determined by what pant size you wear… You are beautiful, you are gorgeous! You are amazing and you have so many talents. You are one of the greatest people I know. And one of the strongest. I admire the happy attitude you have when you have so many reasons to be sad. Please never change. And keep your head up. ♥
You are beautiful. I love you.
Dear Kat (hope this name is alright to use),
Thank YOU. Thank you for being such an amazing girl. You really are my favorite freshman, and pretty much my best friend. Thank you so much for letting me stick with you in the mornings and during lunch at school. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else! Like I’ve said, this year is hard… but you’re one of the things that’s making it bearable for me. So thank you. And don’t worry about complaining or being negative… most days I’m on the same page. Just know that I’m here for you. I want to be listening, and I want to help you.
I’m sorry that you don’t like high school. I don’t either, but I don’t want someone feeling the way I do! But it’s reassuring that you understand. You know who else understands? Our Savior. Kat, you are a daughter of God. Jesus suffered not only for our sins, but so that He could understand every little thing we go through. Every pain, every heartache, every tear. He knows what it feels like. He knows what you’re going through. And He wants to help, more than anything. Turn to Him… That’s what I want so badly right now, but I’m not sure that I really know how to. I’m working on it… But I do believe that He is there.
I was thinking about this today… What is considered beauty? I’ve heard girls say, and myself as well, “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Well, how does that work? How does one become the same amount of “pretty” as someone else? But as I was looking at the girls at our school, I was reminded of something that Fuzzy told me. She said that she believes every girl has the potential to be beautiful. And today I think I caught a glimpse of that. I know this for sure though–you are ALWAYS beautiful. Inside and out. You are so talented in doing hair, in drawing, in writing, and more! I love the way you write. I feel it. If that makes sense.. And I love your blog. Never stop writing. Ever.
Kat, you are awesome. Never forget that! I just love you so much…