So I’ve been reading…

In books, why is it that the boy’s eyes are always so intense? Why can’t the girl ever realize that he really does like her? How come his expressions are so easy to read, but at the same time, so confusing? If he confesses how he feels, why can’t she just accept it the first time? If she means what she says, why does he doubt her? Why does he get so jealous? How come they have such perfect moments? Why is the boy almost always confident and good-looking? Why is the girl so insecure? Even if it is true, and she isn’t as beautiful as the other girls, why does he like her? What makes her better? Why does he look at her with so much affection? Does she really have to blush that much? Why does it have to happen all so fast? Does he care for her as much as she cares for him? How do they know that it’s worth it?

… But isn’t it great how every book has a happy ending?

Good Things #15

1. School isn’t too bad… on the days I don’t have homework.

2. Cross Country is fun.

3. I love being able to drive by myself.

4. Bastille’s new album is the best music to listen to super super loud.

5. I like feeling independent.

6. Homecoming was really really fun last night. :)

7. Getting to know people better is great. And knowing you’ve made a new friend is even better.

8. Singing in the car… Ahhhh… cute.

9. My friends are some of the prettiest girls ever.

10. Sundays are good nap days.

Happy.

But behold I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate they performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul. -2 Nephi 32:9

My seminary teacher shared this scripture with me the other day. I was talking to him about how I had just started Cross Country, and I was kind of reeeeeaaaally nervous. And really, this scripture couldn’t be any more perfect! It was just what I needed. Pray always and the Lord will guide you. He will lift you up! There were many times I asked Heavenly Father to give me strength as I ran my first race today. We prayed as a team before we ran too. It’s really cool to be able to look around and see how many people actually believe and love the same thing I do. The church is true!!

I am so thankful for prayer and for church and for all the amazing people in my life. I realized this school year that I love meeting and talking to new people, but what I love even more are the fantastic friends I know I will have for a long, long time. How did I get so lucky?

Life is good. :)

Some Feelings

Thinking thinking thinking. I can’t stop. I’m so confused and I just want things to make sense. I’m angry but I have to pretend like I’m not and I hate that. I’m sad cause I miss how things used to be and I want summer. I’m so extremely happy during those little moments and I just go crazy inside. I’m nervous… the butterflies won’t go away. I’m excited for what’s to come but at the same time I wish I could disappear and not have to move forward. I’m impatient cause I just want to say out loud what I’m feeling, but now is not the time. I’m jealous of the fact that I’m not as good as the others. I’m scared that I won’t live up to these expectations. I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong. I’m frustrated but I don’t know how to fix anything. I’m anxious for the day when everything starts falling into place. I’m so stinking emotional all the time and I don’t really know why. A hug would be nice though. I just can’t stop thinking about this…