Give and take–there’s a certain balance. For example… missionary work is 100% give–you give your two years entirely to the Lord. Another example… prostitution is 100% take. I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was thinking of where marriage would fit on the give and take scale; he thought it’d be 50/50. He asked his mom what she thought it would be and she said it was 100% give 100% take on both sides. Both the husband and the wife have to GIVE that 100% and take that 100% that the other gives… Make sense? You can’t take something from your spouse without giving something back in return. That’s marriage, that’s love, that’s how it works.
So my friend and I are talking, and we ask, what are high school relationships? We decided the percentage is higher in the “take” category. All it is is taking. That boy doesn’t hold that girl’s hand just cause he wants to make her feel loved and special… the main reason is cause it feels good and he likes it. It makes him feel good. High school kids don’t give hugs, they take hugs. It’s a lot about the natural man (Mosiah 3:19) and instant gratification.
Do these high school couples really care about each other or do they just care about the feelings they get from hugging, holding hands, kissing, etc? If it’s all taking for pleasure, for satisfaction, if that boy would be perfectly fine holding hands or hugging or kissing anyone else, then it must be all about taking.
DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying every kid in high school is like this. I mean, I know some super fantastic kids that give and serve and love one another. The world isn’t totally insane. :)
Anyway……. If most of high school relationships are about taking, then where do we as teenagers learn to give? We want things, we like feelings, but how can we care without just taking? How can we give 100%? How will we be ready for marriage, to be able to give our all and take all that they give, to work side by side unselfishly and full of love…?
I know that high school doesn’t last. Some friendships don’t last, and that scares me… I want them to. Even after high school, I could fall in love, but would that last? How could a boy love me enough to want me forever? All I’ve known is there are always better and prettier girls for the boys I’ve liked to take interest in. That’s all high school has shown me when it comes to “relationships”. But that’s just high school I guess. Just taking what you want, thinking of no future, no consequence.
We shouldn’t take things from other people… Just give.