same stars

And I can’t stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now
Take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You’ll never be alone 
You’ll never be alone
When you miss me close your eyes
I may be far but never gone
When you fall asleep tonight just remember that we lay under the same stars

1:16 AM

Hope you guys enjoyed my Alphabiography. :) It was originally for an assignment in my Creative Writing class… No one took the class seriously, but when I got this assignment, I wanted it to be good. And I felt like it’d be cool to share bits and pieces of me that you might not know! I love the idea of getting to know someone and all of the little details… So that was me putting myself out there a little bit!

Anyway… Summer. Ah. Elysa & I went to Florida and it was so so awesome. Got to go to Universal Studios and got to play with my cute cute cousins that I love so much!! Everything about that trip was just super awesome. 

Other than that, I’ve just been working and hanging out. Summer doesn’t get too much more exciting from here…

To be honest with you, I’ve been struggling a little. Life is hard, and having to move to college and change my life doesn’t make it any easier (although maybe, it will). 

I’m scared. 

With moving, everyone at home goes on with life as if everything is just the same, which it is. The universe has only shifted ever so slightly, it’s so minuscule they can hardly tell that one small person is missing from it. Oh yeah, Abbey’s gone? Their lives hardly change once you take me out of the picture, and that’s just how life is. It just keeps going on. 

On the other hand, here am I… 100 miles away from home and my life is totally altered, so different from the norm that my family and friends are so effortlessly living in my absence. My life is forever going to be changed while back home me leaving has hardly made a dent. 

People move on. And that’s okay. It’s this thing we call the Circle of Life: it just keeps going, whether you’re there for it or not. I’m not counting on all of my friends to keep in touch. They have their own lives to live and really, I think maybe they might be sad for a little bit when I leave, but they’ve got so much going on that they’ll just… MOVE ON. It’s okay. 

But here we are, talking about our futures as if they’ll be connected forever. We talk as if we’ll never drift apart; frankly, we won’t allow that kind of talk. We have all these plans. We make jokes about forgetting, but only because we can’t take that reality seriously. We talk of possibility. We talk of change, of what will happen, of what we want and what we don’t want. We’re investing so much in each other, but once I’m gone is it really gonna last? 

For your sake and for mine, I hope it does. 

You wanna know what I wish would last? These moments we have left. I wish they would last forever. For all the reasons that makes my heart so full and almost happy, I wish so badly I could stay stuck in a moment from this summer: driving in the car, or watching the sunset, or being covered in a blanket while the rain pours. 

Everything about this summer makes me nostalgic. I’m just preparing my goodbyes, and I hate that. I want to live in the moment and forget about college for 58 more days. But I can’t. It’s just me now. They’re just them. We’ll all do our own thing and we’ll grow apart (maybe) but that’s okay. Because there’s so much more waiting for us that we can’t even imagine.