S.

Connor left his phone in seminary, otherwise I’d just text you. But I figured you’d probably check up on WordPress sooner or later…

I just wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking of you tonight. I really hope everything went well! At least I know everyone’s hair looked good. ;) I hope it all looked beautiful and your mom wasn’t too stressed out. I hope you were able to get some homework done… and I hope you ace your test tomorrow. But most of all I hope that you’re happy!

And also, I just wanna tell you that you are sooo fantastic. I’m really glad you’re friends with my brother! Thanks for being so sweet and for being an example to me. God is real and He loves you and wants the best for you. Remember that.

Keep on smiling. :)

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Be Still My Soul

Be Still My Soul, the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joy restored

Be Still My Soul, when change and tears are past

All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last.

Six years now… Happy birthday.

I love you.

To: Kat

Dear Kat,

Five years ago, my grandpa passed away. Like your grandpa, he had cancer too. My grandpa has and always will be an amazing example to me. I love him so much. Five years ago really does seem like a long time, I was only eleven… But I still remember him.

GrandpaAbbs

My siblings and I used to wake up really early in the morning to go on walks with him around the neighborhood. I remember how patient he was. I remember how he always carried a comb around in his pocket. I often watched him work on our basement, and I wanted to build too, so I made a bird house, and then Grandpa and I painted it together. I remember when my grandparents moved, I missed their old house and I sat in his lap and cried…

At EFY two years ago, we discussed what it meant to have charity. My grandpa had such a beautiful heart full of love. He put others before himself, and he quietly served others. After he died, my grandma was going through his things, and she found a newspaper article that he had cut out saved, written by a father who was very grateful for a Mr. Harrop who had saved his child’s life. My grandma never even knew about that. My grandpa never boasted about the good things he did. He did those good things because he wanted to do what was right, and he wanted to serve others. My grandpa had a pure love for others, and I really believe that he had charity, or at least some aspects of it.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of my grandpa is this: Once I was in the kitchen drawing, and he was silently watching me as I worked. A few minutes had passed, and my grandpa said to me, “Abbey, what aren’t you good at?” Thinking of that moment during hard times today gives me confidence. I know that my grandpa loves me, and he thinks I’m good at everything I do, even though I may not think so. This story makes me think of my Heavenly Father too. God loves me, and He knows I have great potential and can succeed in all I do, if I try. I may not have confidence, but He has confidence in me. It makes me smile as I imagine both my Heavenly Father and my grandpa watching me, rooting for me to do my best and find happiness…

Kat, I know that one day I will be able to see my grandpa again. And you will see your grandpa again too. Hey, maybe they’re friends up in heaven right now! You never know. What makes me feel at peace is knowing that they are both doing a great work; they are missionaries teaching the gospel. I look forward to the day when we can see them again.

I love you!

Love, Me

Happy Birthday

RJF.

Happy birthday.

You would have been 30 this year. I miss you so much. It’s crazy that I can’t even think about you without crying. But I really miss you. I wish you were here… I hope that somehow you know that. And I hope you know that I will never forget you.

I love you.

-Me

To: Kat

Dear Kat,

It wasn’t your fault. Everyone makes their own choices. As much as I sometimes wish, we can’t make decisions for other people. When people you love and care so much about do something you don’t agree with, it’s really hard to be okay with it. And I’m not saying that what your friend did wasn’t wrong, it is. It’s really serious. What I want to say is that none of that was your fault. Being a good friend is great, but unfortunately being a good friend doesn’t mean that person will always stay by your side, or do what’s right. Cause like I said, it was her choice… It wasn’t your fault.

My dad said that there are so many times he’s wished people in his life didn’t make certain decisions, but really there’s nothing he can do about it. He said everyone always looks back to see what they could have done to maybe prevent those things a person close to them does… Sometimes that is a good thing to think about in trying to better yourself, but it is also a very bad thing that can destroy you. Dwelling on what you could have or should have done… Kat, I don’t think you should beat yourself up too much about this… what’s done is done.

I’m so sorry that you lost your best friend… I really am. You’ve been through so much. You are so strong. I am so proud of who you are right now. You are one of my best friends, and I love you so much. And about the other friend you’re worried about right now… Just be a good friend to her. Do your best to be your best. Let her know that you love her… And hopefully she’ll come around.

Stay beautiful.

Love, Me

To a friend…

B.

I am so sorry about everything you’re going through. Being a teenager is tough enough, and then being forced into all those things that you don’t want to do… I can see how overwhelming that would be. I really am sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not that much comfort, and that the other night I didn’t know what to say to make you feel better. Sorry just doesn’t cut it. But it hurts me to see you hurt. I don’t want any of my friends to feel like that… I guess I’m writing this letter to tell you that I am here. I know that I may not be the person you’d want to confide in and tell everything to, but I am here if you want that person to be me. I’m willing to help, and really, if you need anything, I will be there. Even if it’s as simple as a plate of cookies, or even just a hug. To me you are one of my best friends, and I hope that feeling is mutual between us. I love you so much. I don’t want you to be sad, I want you to be happy! So, please… if there is anything I can do…

Yeah, I do realize that I’m kind of crazy and probably not the best at giving advice. I’m not perfect. And like you said the other night, I probably won’t understand a lot of what’s going on with you and your mom. Honestly, all I’m good for as an imperfect human being is a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, and that’s for any time you need that. But there is someone who understands everything. Have you talked to Him? He knows exactly what you’re going through, because He’s been through it all. John 16:33 says, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Have you ever thought about what that means? I think it means that yeah, life is gonna stink sometimes and you’ll go through hard times, but… compared to what Christ has gone through, it’s so little. What’s so reassuring is that He cares about everything we go through, no matter how small of a task it is. So don’t worry, because if you let Him, He will be with you every step of the way. And you will be able to get through anything. Nothing is impossible with the Lord by your side. I don’t even know how hard this is that you’re going through, but He does. He understands. And He wants to help you, just like I do.

You are beautiful and amazing and talented in so many ways. I’m so grateful that you are my friend. You are such a strength to me, and you have no idea how much you’ve done for this these past few months. Maybe this letter helped you, maybe not. If anything I hope it is a call to action to turn to your Savior. He loves you… And please, please remember that I am always here for you. Just a phone-call, a text, or a couple blocks away.

I love you so much.

Love,

Me

To: Kat

Dear Kat,

What’s one of my favorite childhood memories? I have to think about this one… I actually remember a lot, but only bits and pieces. So there are lots of bits and pieces. haha I actually have tons of memories with the “Clock” boy… But I think I’m gonna choose something different…

First of all, I’m not sure if this story is mixed from different days, or if it is from the same day. Like I said, bits and pieces… Okay, here goes.

I was ten. It was summer. 2007, maybe? We were in the backyard. My uncle was teaching me how to play football. Well, him teaching me was a much earlier memory; from one of the first times he visited our house with my aunt. But he taught me how to throw and catch a football. He taught Grace and Kelsie too. Even when he wasn’t there, we’d toss the football around all the time. I remember one summer night Grace and I were playing catch and it was getting dark out, but the night was lit with the baseball lights across the street. Grace and I would count how many times we could catch it before we dropped it. I just remember that night, thinking I wanted to do this every summer…

Anyway. Back to my story. We were playing catch. Probably One-Thousand, that game where you yell out points and whoever catches it gets those points. This next part may seem like a little insignificant thing, but it’s vivid in my mind because I was impressed. As we were playing catch with my uncle, some boy was walking by on the sidewalk alone. My uncle called out to him and they passed the football back and forth for a bit until he was too far away. That might seem weird… Everyone around was laughing, but I remember silently watching. I seriously thought my uncle was the coolest ever.

After that (this may be from a different day), as we were playing catch, I guess one of my sisters was being mean, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I ran up to my room crying. I hid under my bed and cried, not wanting to see anyone. But my uncle came upstairs, laid on the floor and talked to me, trying to make him feel better. He came when no one else did. And I am forever grateful that he did that.

I feel like I’m not doing a very good job at answering your question… Because there isn’t just one specific one. Sorry! I know for sure that this next thing is from a different day. Again, we were playing catch in the backyard. I’m pretty sure it was my uncle that accidentally threw it over the fence into our neighbors yard. Well the neighbors had a dog, and it was our red and black foam football that had gone over. Back then I was terrified of dogs. I was a baby. They scared me so much. So most of the time I was too scared to look over the fence. But Mowgli, the dog, was tearing our poor football apart. We all stood on the bricks around the garden to look over the fence at it. My uncle tried to get it to stop, but I remember Mowgli with the football in his mouth, shaking his head back and forth, looking up at my uncle. Not only was I afraid of the dog, but I was distraught at the fact that our precious football was being demolished. So my uncle took me to the store and we got a new one that looked just like it.

I still have that football today, but I don’t use it. It’s really special to me… It reminds me of playing catch in the backyard, and also I think of how my uncle always made me feel better.

I’m sorry if this is lame. It’s hard to think of one thing… Well since you asked me, I guess I’m asking you now: What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Love, Me

To: Kat

Kat,

You are so amazing. I can’t tell you that enough! Thank you so much for the chocolate you gave me this morning. It was well needed and very much appreciated. (: It made my day!

I am so thankful to have you as my friend. You are so caring. You are one of my top examples as one who puts others before themselves. I am extremely blessed to know you… I look up to you so much!

Well, that is all.

I love you!

Love, Me

To: Kat

Kat,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had the best day of your life. (; Really though, I hope you had a great day, cause you deserve it. Sorry, I’m not the best at gift giving and all that… hopefully this letter and my cake will suffice…

You mean so much to me. You are so strong and so amazing. You are the definition of a true friend. I know that you will always stand by my side when it comes to doing what is right, even if it might be hard. You are such an example to me, you really make me want to be better. I’m basically just rambling on and on… But thanks, Kat. Thank you so much for being you, and for being my friend. Thanks for your letters… I need them. I’m sorry about being such a whiny pants sometimes… I’m really gonna work harder on not doing that.

I love you. You are beautiful. I hope you had the best birthday ever!

Love, Me

P.S. Your tacos are the greatest things in this whole world…

To: Kat

Kat,

High school… is low. These kids here, are stupid. They are so judgmental, and I really wish we could get away from it all. They make me angry. I can’t believe they said that about you, because it isn’t true. Kat, you are pretty. You are beautiful. They don’t know crap about what’s pretty and what’s not. They’re stupid. High school’s stupid. But that’s not the point… Kat, my heart broke for you when I read your post today… I want you to know that I will drop everything if you need me to. I really will. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hold anything in. You are so strong, and you don’t have to be in front of me. I want to help you, Kat. I want to be there for you. I should have been paying more attention… I should have known something was wrong. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about those jerks. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to comfort you. But from now on, I really hope you can tell me these things. You are my best friend, and I don’t want you to hurt. I want to help you. And I want you to be happy. I am here for you.

I love you so much. Thanks for being my friend.

Love, Me