The Last Week

When you’re little, there are things you never think you’ll ever reach (and I’m not talking about the cookie jar up on the counter). You never think you’ll ever be as old as the big sixth graders. Becoming one of the high school show choir kids that sing around town every Christmas? Impossible. Thoughts of driving, of dating, of getting old enough to move out and not be with Mom & Dad anymore, all unbelievable. Incomprehensible.

Then suddenly you’re there. You realize that sixth graders aren’t really that big. Show Choir isn’t as wonderful as you dreamed it would be. You drive (in fact you love it), you definitely date, and you moved out. And your freshman year of college, which seemed so far away even in high school, has already flown by and is nearing its end. Only three more days until it’s time to pack up and leave again.

Isn’t it crazy how fast time goes by?

This first year of college has changed me. It really has. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to go, but gosh, it’s helped me see everything in a different and new light. Looking back I laugh at the Old Abbey that was dreading coming to Ephraim. Little did she know that she was about to have the best ride of her life thus far. She wasn’t able to comprehend that she would lose so much but gain so much more, and what she would gain would be better than what she had before moving out of her familiar home.

Not all, but some friendships from home have crashed & burned (Taylor calls it the High School Friend Fall-Out). I’ve learned that honesty is key for any happy relationship, that girlfriends/boyfriends totally kill any meaning of the term “best friends”, that forgiveness helps lighten loads, that our God above loves us and is by our sides no matter what, that my family are my greatest friends and confidants. Even friendships from here in Ephraim haven’t turned out. That has taught me that God puts people in our lives to teach us lessons and sometimes, they aren’t meant to stay, and that’s okay, because there are better things ahead. Much better.

[I can’t write this and not mention that my family got me through so much throughout these past few months, even from miles away. Our #MorrisonFam group chat is something I am so grateful for. My family is my everything, and always will be.]

This last semester was the pinnacle of my time here at Snow. My sister became my greatest friend, and with that, her friends became mine as well. Never before in my life have I felt such genuine love from so many people all at once that weren’t family. These friends I have here aren’t my friends only because I have something to offer. These friends I have don’t use me, don’t ask favors and never return them. These friends love to be with me and treat me right. I’ve never been more blessed and more happy.

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It’s been a bumpy ride, but these people have made it totally worth it. We had the best weekends together, so much fun in the library at night “studying”, so many laughs. I’m seriously so proud to call each and every one of these kids my best friends. I am forever grateful for the experience at Snow College and the people I am able to end it with this year.

It’s a little bittersweet, thinking that after this week, we will all go our separate ways for the summer (or longer). We’ll go from seeing each other every single day to maybe two or three times during the next three months, if we’re lucky. Never ever ever in my life did I ever think that I would love college this much and actually be afraid to leave it. I’m going to miss Ephraim a lot…

I’m thankful for Kels, who took me under her wing and was my friend and my sister. I’m thankful for Elysa, for the times she laid in bed with me while I cried, and for everything else. I’m thankful for Aneisa, my bestie and favorite person to laugh with. I’m thankful for Madeline, who helped me survive my music classes with an almost-positive attitude. ;) I’m thankful for Josh, for his strength and example and all that he has taught me about love and joy. I’m thankful for Geoff, who helped me learn how to say no (haha). I’m thankful for Leedan, the most thoughtful human being to ever walk this earth. I’m thankful for Tyler and his laugh. I’m thankful for Kyle’s hugs and his constant friendship. I’m thankful for Michael because he thinks I’m really funny. I’m thankful that I got to have Kenzie as my roommate for a semester and see her off as she went to France for her mission. I’m thankful for the cuties that have called me every now and then to tell me about their lives. I’m thankful for all of these people and so many more, I can’t even count all the people here in Ephraim that have made me smile.

Life is good.

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I’ll never forget what I could never imagine as a little girl: my first year at Snow College.

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things I miss

-Mom’s chocolate stash
-staying up late with Connor
-singing with Jill (this is a HUGE one recently)
-smoothies
-Aaron
-working with Aaron
-working with Tanner
-Nate: our talks and jam sessions
-Connor
-chocolate
-Tiffany
-Dad making breakfast on Saturdays
-driving my own car
-a warm cooked meal at every dinner (thanks Mom)
-late nights talking with Mom & Dad on their bed
-chats with Ash during her sister’s piano lessons
-everything that’s chocolate
-laughing with Connor & Savannah
-Brother Lewis
-Momma
-hanging out with Josh & Cam
-the trees in Overlake
-my Primary class
-The Golden Trio
-going to bed before midnight

1:07 AM (which is early for me)

Distance has taught me a few things:

-how to appreciate the people I really care about

-to always value hugs

-who’s really there for me (even when we’re miles apart) and who really isn’t

-who I wanna be there for

-what my priorities are

Matthew 11:28

I said the other night that God likes to mess with us and throw us curve balls. Well after thinking more about that, I think that what I said is wrong. God should never be and never has been our enemy! These bad things that happen to us are not because of God, it’s only because we live in a fallen world. Heavenly Father didn’t plan for us to be struggling with certain things, He didn’t plan for Kelsey to have to postpone her mission, He didn’t plan for Josh to lose all feeling below his chest and be told that he might not walk again, He didn’t plan for my uncle to commit suicide. He doesn’t plan that. It’s like if He stopped people from making bad decisions; He can’t stop bad things from happening. So it’s His plan to BE THERE. He’s there when the bad things happen. He’s there to lift and to heal and to comfort and to help because He is OUR GOD. Our God wouldn’t send us these horrible trials on purpose because He does love us and want the best for us. Do our parents ever purposely make us go through really hard things? No. The hard things come first, and the people around us help us to cope, and they always want the BEST for us. Of course our trials can make us stronger, but no one plans for bad things to happen. God loves us and doesn’t want us to suffer, but He knows that pain and sorrow in this life is inevitable and that is why He sent His Son to this earth so that we can feel comfort and know that WE ARE NOT ALONE. God is not the cause of our trials, but rather the remedy of them. If we realize that, we’ll be a lot better off. I’ve found myself blaming God and being mad at Him when really I should be turning to Him and asking Him for comfort when I’m feeling sad instead of pushing Him away out of frustration. I’ve been so wrong. Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy! Life is hard, and God wants to be there every step of the way. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

1:16 AM

Hope you guys enjoyed my Alphabiography. :) It was originally for an assignment in my Creative Writing class… No one took the class seriously, but when I got this assignment, I wanted it to be good. And I felt like it’d be cool to share bits and pieces of me that you might not know! I love the idea of getting to know someone and all of the little details… So that was me putting myself out there a little bit!

Anyway… Summer. Ah. Elysa & I went to Florida and it was so so awesome. Got to go to Universal Studios and got to play with my cute cute cousins that I love so much!! Everything about that trip was just super awesome. 

Other than that, I’ve just been working and hanging out. Summer doesn’t get too much more exciting from here…

To be honest with you, I’ve been struggling a little. Life is hard, and having to move to college and change my life doesn’t make it any easier (although maybe, it will). 

I’m scared. 

With moving, everyone at home goes on with life as if everything is just the same, which it is. The universe has only shifted ever so slightly, it’s so minuscule they can hardly tell that one small person is missing from it. Oh yeah, Abbey’s gone? Their lives hardly change once you take me out of the picture, and that’s just how life is. It just keeps going on. 

On the other hand, here am I… 100 miles away from home and my life is totally altered, so different from the norm that my family and friends are so effortlessly living in my absence. My life is forever going to be changed while back home me leaving has hardly made a dent. 

People move on. And that’s okay. It’s this thing we call the Circle of Life: it just keeps going, whether you’re there for it or not. I’m not counting on all of my friends to keep in touch. They have their own lives to live and really, I think maybe they might be sad for a little bit when I leave, but they’ve got so much going on that they’ll just… MOVE ON. It’s okay. 

But here we are, talking about our futures as if they’ll be connected forever. We talk as if we’ll never drift apart; frankly, we won’t allow that kind of talk. We have all these plans. We make jokes about forgetting, but only because we can’t take that reality seriously. We talk of possibility. We talk of change, of what will happen, of what we want and what we don’t want. We’re investing so much in each other, but once I’m gone is it really gonna last? 

For your sake and for mine, I hope it does. 

You wanna know what I wish would last? These moments we have left. I wish they would last forever. For all the reasons that makes my heart so full and almost happy, I wish so badly I could stay stuck in a moment from this summer: driving in the car, or watching the sunset, or being covered in a blanket while the rain pours. 

Everything about this summer makes me nostalgic. I’m just preparing my goodbyes, and I hate that. I want to live in the moment and forget about college for 58 more days. But I can’t. It’s just me now. They’re just them. We’ll all do our own thing and we’ll grow apart (maybe) but that’s okay. Because there’s so much more waiting for us that we can’t even imagine.   

Let Go

“When we give up what’s most dear to us (but not as dear to us as Him), He will make up the difference… Let go. Let go of the things that don’t let us be happy.”

I heard this today in a talk in sacrament meeting. You know what I love most about that? Is that we can let go. Nothing is ultimately holding us back from our Savior. He is there with arms open wide, waiting for us to let go of what is tying us down, to be able to become free… The cool thing about the Atonement is that it isn’t just for repentance and forgiveness… that’s just a part of it. The Atonement is for ourselves in every aspect.

He can heal us.